One of the most important lessons I have learned is this:
“LIVE LIFE WITHOUT GUILT BECAUSE GUILT IS A NON PRODUCTIVE EMOTION”. 

Some would feel that guilt is a necessary emotion.  That there are some things for which we should feel guilty, like killing, stealing and abuse.  Surely those situations would require a person to feel guilt! 

But these people are looking at a different definition of guilt.  The confusion stems from people equating guilt with repentance.  Merriam-Webster says Guilt is: the state of one who has committed an offense especially consciously b : feelings of culpability especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy :  a feeling of culpability for offenses  Guilt is a noun with no action.  There is no action taken when one feels guilt. 

The reason I believe in life without guilt is that experiencing the feeling of guilt does not motivate a person towards positive, lasting change.  Guilt is a non-productive emotion.  People do not choose to change things about themselves or their situations because they feel guilty.  Feeling guilty makes a person feel shame. Feeling ashamed causes us to retreat. We stop living our fullest life because of the burden of guilt we are carrying around.

On the other hand they Merriam-Webster define Repentance as: the action or process of repenting especially for misdeeds or moral shortcomings.  The first word you see is “THE ACTION”.  Repenting motivates you to change. You might regret your mistake, but you see that mistake for what it is, an error made by an imperfect person. Not a debilitating failure. Because you now know better, you do better.

Living without guilt is about living without cop-outs and excuses.  It forces you to take responsibility for your actions.  It’s all about you, upfront and personal.  Life without guilt also means that you do not try to “guilt trip” others.  Because you recognize how guilt can stall you in your life, you then work to not send other people down that useless road of “if only”, “should have", “could have”, “but you didn’t so now look how you have screwed up your life, and most importantly my life”. 

Living without guilt allows you to stand up and say to those who try to minimize you and your accomplishments: "I choose my response and my action. My life, my behavior, my accomplishments are on me, not you."

This life lesson has been hard-won. Together I can show you how to use this freeing thought to make a success of any future life decision!

Laura

What causes you to do things differently?  At what point in your life do you stop and take stock of your past and your present and contemplate, that based on these two, what could your future possibly be? 

What if you never stop and ponder where you have been, where you are now and where you are going?  What would happen?  Would anything happen? Will you be just as happy, successful and confident that where you are is where you want to be? Or when you reach 83, will you look back and regret all your missed opportunity? 

In my youth I heard it said that as we get older we spend more time “in our heads,” reliving our past.  It is said that there is no escaping this re-journey.  So, if you have to take the journey again, why not take every opportunity during the first go round to do all you can to get it right?

Remember, life is a journey that all of us have to make. There is no escaping this truth.  When we turn around and look back down that road, what will we see? Will we have “if only” or will we be able to enjoy all those moments, even the missteps?

I hope that you will do all you can to ensure that your re-journey is not a place of regret, sadness and tears, but of joy.  Do all that you can now, to make it so.

My mother used to always tell my sisters and I the following:

“It is hard to live with other people’s children."

At the time that she was telling us this, we were just beginning to date and could not figure out just what she was trying to say.  Thirty years later I get it.  My mother was saying that if we fought with our brothers and sisters who were raised by the same parents as us, what would we think would happen when we chose to join our lives with people raised by others? 

It is a challenge to find cohesive ways to get along with people, to go from me,  to me and you, him and her; to us, them,  and then us and them.  Team.  

There are ways to become comfortable with yourself so that you can function successfully as an us, we, them and/or they. I've learned those skills and it's helped me find a way to play well with others. That learning and teamwork leads to a peaceful environment where everyone can succeed.

It took me 30 years to understand the practicality of my mom's words but I heard her and it made a difference in my life. I look forward to sharing with you more pearls of wisdom and hope they have the same positive impact on you.

Laura

Several years ago I was in a workshop where a fellow participant shared a belief that her mother practiced. Since then, I have come to believe in it.  "Before you go to sleep at night you should ask yourself two questions:  Did you do something good for someone else? And did you do something good for yourself?"  The premise is that until you truly value yourself, you really cannot value others.  So, this week do something good for yourself each day.

Laura 

Salutations Tapestry friends!  Its the New Year and just about everyone is looking to revamp, renew, recharge...re-something.  One of the best ways to make the re-ing most effective is to find someone to lead you through the muck, to the place that you're looking to go.  Wading through each of our own journeys is almost always easier with a hand to hold.  As I look forward to the new year I'm hoping that I can hold a few hands through the journey to better self-understanding, acceptance and success.  I want to be a "re" leader!

Laura